Thank y'all - Birthday River Trip to Islip

All,

I'd just like to thank you for braving the dangers of the wild weather, raging river and Ralph's a la carte 'baked, on glowing embers to an unrecognisable black crisp, sweet potatoes', to make my twenty tenth birthday such a good one. Especially, I'd like to thank my lovely wife Fran, who, despite knowing I loathe the thought of surprises, somehow arranged you rowdy lot to secretly crash our supposed romantic riverside weekend.

A little rain Saturday night was no match for Paul's tent which appeared to have been designed as emergency housing for half of Oxfordshire. I don't know why he even bothered with a tent given that the only time he got out of the river all weekend was to get back on the rope swing. Ian, on an apparently sponsored sleepathon, didn't notice the weather either way, despite being camped in a tent half the size of himself from which his feet comically protruded. Ruth couldn't be bothered with a tent at all and instead took the opportunity for a nighttime swim during which she apparently got attacked by a submerged tree monster. Scott kept us all amused by pouring whiskey on the fire and generally playing the fool, although this year he DID refrain from pretending to fall in the river when we were all asleep - I think he was too busy trying to cuddle up to poor Louis who will no doubt be bringing his own tent in future. Rumour has it that Louis' tent resembles a nasa comms outpost but he couldn't bring it because the hydroelectric module is still under construction.

My birthday kayak, from Fran, mum and dad and in law's was duly christened 'Dragonfly'. Being an inflatable, smashing Pete's bottle of champagne against her hull for the occasion was out of the question, so sadly, we had to drink it instead. She was put through her paces by everyone from Fran who forgot the paddle was double ended and subsequently rowed herself around in perpetual circles, to Melissa who failed to grasp the basic exit criteria of maintaining the centre of gravity and promptly pitched herself into the river, to Heather and Ralph who narrowly avoided a domestic working out who was going in the driving seat. Hugh later disappeared on the craft for several hours and was reputedly spotted by the locals racing punts through central Oxford.

Heather and Fran spent the last 6 months baking yummy vegan cakes which was great as I got to blow out candles at least 5 times, but unfortunately, Pete had one slice too many causing the dramatic collapse of his borrowed tesco value camping chair. Carolyn made a cameo appearance to ensure everyone was up to date on the history of absolutely everything for the last 2 years while Esther played musical chairs / logs around the campfire trying to avoid taking up smoking. The too cool for school competition was decided when Joakim and Susy pitched up on Sunday with the most English looking picnic basket I've ever laid eyes on, replete with real cups and plates and wine and all sorts of other goodies. I understand Philip wowed you all with a wonderful poetry recital which lasted the exact half hour that Nick was feebly trying to row me back up the raging torrent of the Cherwell in the kayak, so sadly I missed it; he did bring mighty fine flapjack though so I'll let him off. Lorna took a few lessons in survival from Ralph, such as chopping wood, and went on to lead a successful navy seal style search and rescue mission for her glasses, deposited at the bottom of theriver after a particularly magnificent swing off the rope. Even Billy, Cob and Daisy showed up but promptly disappeared upon discovering what Ralph had cooked them for dinner.

Seriously though, beautiful people, lovely gifts, and much riverside fun, was more than I could have asked for. Thank you all very much for making it so special, to Fran for organising and Ralph and Heather for assisting. If you have any photo's, do email them through. Until next time...

Lxx